Au Revoir '09

Goodbye 2009

This has been a year of accomplishments, challenges, struggles, laughter and tears. I want nothing more than this year to be over and locked away but I don’t want to ever forget the lessons in which I have learned. I’ve had to forever say goodbye to family and friends with just the promise they are in a better place and someone needed them more. I’ve made new friends and made up with old. I challenged myself to step up and take a stand on what I believe and KNOW I can do. I’ve failed miserably at some things but I’ve found I’ve exceeded at others.

There are of course new goals for 2010 and maybe some goals from 2009 that needed to be tweaked for a second try. I’ve realized that in order to truly find love I needed to be the person I really am. I can’t be someone they want me to be because then they will never love me for me. I’ve learned that I don’t really know who I am but I know who I’m not. Perhaps part of loving me will be understanding that I have no idea why I do what I do sometimes but that’s me, I don’t always have the answers but I try real hard and everything I do… I do from my heart … that always happens to be worn on my sleeve. I’ve tried really hard to break down some walls I’ve had up and while I didn’t succeed at that very much I definitely made a few holes to hopefully continue with the process in 2010. With the right people and support surrounding me I honestly believe that I’m on my way to a path where I’ll get most of my dreams…not all but that is okay because without dreams you don’t live.

I’ve learned to compromise without compromising who I am. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to be wrong then right. I’ve learned that sometimes when the blinding sun gets in your eyes and forces you to slow down -- you see something that you never noticed before was always there. I’ve learned that a good true conversation with no ulterior motives is the best medicine. I’ve learned that something as simple as a hug can solve most problems or at least provide a good start.

So to all of you, I wish you a safe and happy evening with your loved ones. I wish you a year full of laughter and lessons. A year in which you grow and look back going DAMN…that was a good year! To all my friends that are in my life today here’s a BIG thank you…you all know who you are… I couldn’t have done it without you….the good or the bad. LOL <3

-Brenda