Weigh-in Day ....

Today's weigh-in I was down 1.8 pounds! I am currently at 267.2 pounds and that is a total loss of 8.4 pounds. I have another 4.6 pounds before I reach my 5% goal and 18.6 before I reach my 10% goal and get my keychain!! it seems like so far away but I'm going to keep on going .... I have no choice!

Why hello....where have you been?

So it's been a few months....I took a break....lots went on, however, it was not all good nor all bad, just life I guess.

I got back onto the treadmill today and it's going to take a bit to work back up to where I last was. I also went back to weight watchers and weigh'd in and in 3 months I was down 1.8 pounds...I call that a NSV! I didn't gain and I actually lost....PLUS I've gone down a size in clothes so I guess I'm just rearranging where things are falling on my body...does that mean I'm getting older? YIKES!

Lots of things are happening around me right now that are trying to stress me out but I'm just taking one things at a time and trying to really maintain my level of comfort as to not sabotage myself and allow stress to get the best of me! We shall see how it all works I suppose :)

Sorry I've been absent...

Wow...times flies when you're NOT having fun!

Well the progress I've been on hasn't been that great but I haven't really gained so I'm looking at that as a plus.

Have you ever started eating something that you once loved but find yourself not really enjoying it but yet you continue to eat it anyways and while you're eating it you ask yourself why? Yeah that was me this morning...I was eating french toast and bacon and it wasn't tasting that good to me, i'm sure it was fine I just wasn't feeling it...Anyways I kept eating...even after I was full...finally I threw away the half that was left and I found it really hard! I hate throwing away food I guess...but I hate the feeling I get from overeating...

I watched the new show last night by chef Jamie Oliver and produced by Ryan Seacreast (becuase he doesn't have enough going on right now) and I absollutely loved it! I hope that it gets lots of attention and the local schools take notice...I was heartbroken at the reaction he was getting and the resistance to change he received from the worst town in the country as far as unhealthy goes...I know change is scary I get it but look at your self...look around you....that's what I had to do and it's what I constantly do each day....and it's not pretty.

I love my life but I hate it at the same time. It's hard to explain. I don't have any dreams or any challenges other to be skinny....but is being skinny what I really want? I will be happy if I can do the things everyone else can do. I will be happy if I can walk into anystore and find clothing in my size. I will be happy if I can fit into a seat on an airplane, carnival ride, or the like. I will be happy when I can walk and talk at the same time without being out of breath. I will be happy when I can look in the mirror and be happy with what I see even if other people may not.

Why is it that the moment I get stressed it's the same moment I reach for anything to shove into my mouth? UGH it's so frustrating and it's to the point where I don't even realize I do it...till it's too late!

SO INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

North Carolina....

I set a goal awhile back before I started weight watchers that I couldn't go back to visit my friends in NC till I lost 50 pounds... So far I'm 15 pounds down and only 35 more to go!!! .... wooo hooo so I have to loose! God I can't wait till I feel that NC sunshine and see those NC boys :)

Monday Monday

So I failed at my 40 miles in February challenge...but hey it's a challenge right? We don't always succeed. But today my friends and I set up a 6 weeks challenge which will bring me right up to my trip to TEXAS! SAWEET! .... so hopefully I'll do great in that...I really need to find some energy...I have the motivation I just can't get my body to agree with me! SOOO FRUSTRATING! So in our group we decided to give up one thing for 6 weeks....one thing that really gets us as far as loosing weight. I decided to give up McDonald's. So sorry to all the McD employees out there but I had to...and it sucks becuase they have the Shamrock shakes :( BOOOO good thing I had one last night :)

So from now until 6 weeks from now....NO MCDONALDS!

I was out this weekend in the Old Port and really had some fun...the bar was busy for a change and everyone was in a good mood :) even me...the DD haha usually I'm mad at the boys for acting dumb but they were all on their best behavior :) Good for seeing old friends too :) I really wish I had the opportunity to go back to high school and do things different...it's hard to understand the social rank of people then and how in reality there isn't (or well shouldn't be) everyone should just get along and enjoy each other for what difference they can bring to the "table". Who knows...maybe next year i'll get to go to England and visit and be completely out of place and love every moment I'm there! haha

More Workout Songs....

This is from my friend who is a choreographer!

ccording to You, Blanco (by Pitbull...explicit but great driving beat), the group Bonde do Role is a Brazillian group with awesome workout music, Candy Man (Christina Agulara), Dance 4 Me (David Alexander) extended remix, Evacuate the Dancefloor (by Cascada) extended remix, Feeling Good (Muse...great for weight lifting or push-ups..anything requiring slow controlled aggression...lol), hey Soul Sister (Train...stretching), James Brown...Hot Pants, Make it Funky, I Know you Want me, Party Up (disney song that is upbeat and kid friendly), any fast songs by Pink...good girl power feel to her music, More by Demi LaVato, Think (Aretha Franklin), Cotton Eyed Joe remixes, Tik Tok (hate the song, but good workout beat),Welcome to the Jungle (Guns n Roses), When I Grow Up (Pussycat Dolls), 3 and Circus...Britney Spears (remixes are great), 4 Minutes (Justin Timberlake), fast music by Prince, Janet Jackson has a new one

supposedly she's got more coming for me too!!! LOVE IT