Sorry I've been absent...

Wow...times flies when you're NOT having fun!

Well the progress I've been on hasn't been that great but I haven't really gained so I'm looking at that as a plus.

Have you ever started eating something that you once loved but find yourself not really enjoying it but yet you continue to eat it anyways and while you're eating it you ask yourself why? Yeah that was me this morning...I was eating french toast and bacon and it wasn't tasting that good to me, i'm sure it was fine I just wasn't feeling it...Anyways I kept eating...even after I was full...finally I threw away the half that was left and I found it really hard! I hate throwing away food I guess...but I hate the feeling I get from overeating...

I watched the new show last night by chef Jamie Oliver and produced by Ryan Seacreast (becuase he doesn't have enough going on right now) and I absollutely loved it! I hope that it gets lots of attention and the local schools take notice...I was heartbroken at the reaction he was getting and the resistance to change he received from the worst town in the country as far as unhealthy goes...I know change is scary I get it but look at your self...look around you....that's what I had to do and it's what I constantly do each day....and it's not pretty.

I love my life but I hate it at the same time. It's hard to explain. I don't have any dreams or any challenges other to be skinny....but is being skinny what I really want? I will be happy if I can do the things everyone else can do. I will be happy if I can walk into anystore and find clothing in my size. I will be happy if I can fit into a seat on an airplane, carnival ride, or the like. I will be happy when I can walk and talk at the same time without being out of breath. I will be happy when I can look in the mirror and be happy with what I see even if other people may not.