A blog by Lori Deschene
I broke my laptop. I couldn’t fit in my favorite jeans. I hadn’t gotten enough sleep. And I was in–gasp!–a bad mood.
I know; that might seem kind of odd coming from someone who is trying to become a “Good Mood Blogger.” But I think it’s unrealistic to expect anyone will feel good 24/7.
A much smarter approach to feeling good is to accept that sometimes you won’t feel upbeat, and to plan well so you can deal with it and bounce back quickly.
I’ve come up with 10 ideas to turn negativity into positivity. (This list assumes there’s nothing left unsaid between you and someone else; but rather you feel bad and can’t snap out of it). Here’s what I got:
1. Figure out what’s really bothering you. One time I couldn’t open a jar of jelly and found myself irrationally upset. No, I wasn’t that desperate for a PB & J. I just hadn’t dealt with the hurt from a betrayal in my relationship, and refused to deal with my conflicting feelings. Until I admitted what hurt me and why, I was prone to minor upsets over silly things.
2. Be real about how you feel. There’s no point in pretending you’re full of sunshine when internally you feel like screaming. Don’t worry about bringing other people down; you’ll only do that if you dwell in negativity. If someone asks what’s wrong, be honest: “I’ve had a rough day, I don’t feel so great, but I’m sure I’ll feel better as soon as I…”
3. Complete the “I’ll feel better as soon as I…” sentence. I know yoga always enhances my mood. I also know when I feel bad I’m less motivated to go yoga. It helps to remind myself it will be worth it in the end if I push through my discomfort because yoga always helps, at least a little.
4. Take responsibility. Sometimes when I’m down it seems to not be a choice–like I can’t help the way I feel. But the truth is we can influence how we feel by choosing what we do. Sitting around sulking=prolonged sadness. Doing something proactive=starting to feel better. When I realize I am the only thing standing between me and a smile, I feel motivated to take action.
5. Rationalize what your bad mood takes from you. So you realize you feel bad and there are things you can do to feel better, but maybe you still want to dwell because you feel justified, or the things stressing you out feel too overwhelming. This is when I remind myself: If I choose to stay upset, I’ll miss out on enjoying tonight with my friends. What’s more important to me?
6. Be childlike. I don’t know if this will work for everyone, but watching cartoons always cheers me up. Sinking back into the simplicity of Saturday morning, when all I had to do was watch The Smurfs with my sister, makes me smile–and smiling has been scientifically proven to release endorphins, serotonin, and other feel good brain chemicals.
7. Use the silly voice technique. According to Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, swapping the voice in your head with a cartoon voice will help take back power from the troubling thought. (As mentioned in 40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain.)
8. Change the story in your head. When I’m in a bad mood, I tend to repeat the same negative thoughts over and over again. It helps to visualize myself closing a book and opening a new one. Then I start replacing the thoughts with positive ones, i.e.: “My laptop broke–but how lucky am I to have a boyfriend who lets me use his?
9. Watch a moving YouTube video. Oftentimes we hold onto our feelings instead of expressing them. An inspirational video may help you cry, which researchers have found releases stress hormones. (At least this works for me–I was balling like a baby at the Lost Taxi Driver Story, and it’s not even sad!)
10. If all else fails, get repetitive. You’ve tried everything but your mind is still being stubborn. Now it’s just a matter of waiting it out. So tell yourself this once every 20 minutes: “I still feel bad. I accept it. I know I won’t always feel bad, and it will change as soon as I’m ready.” Odds are you’ll eventually get tired of this internal monologue and decide to be ready sooner than later.
I didn’t touch upon some of the usual mood enhancer techniques-exercise, chocolate, etc. I leave that to you. What helps you bounce back from a bad mood?
